Saturday, October 31, 2009
Day23
Doing duty. Recieve a call from you. Brighten my day by a lot. (:
Day24
Halloween today. But got no idea what to do. IMY
&forever
5:07 AM
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Day21
My sibling having war at home. Cant use com to update. Boring life, i want to do something meaningful!
Day22
Have a talk with this fund manager. Saving plans. Should i should i not? deduct 100bucks every month! With a poor income i doubt i can tahan. ): Saw some cute bears and think of you again. I miss you.
&forever
5:00 AM
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Day20
Hmmmm... Went sgh see specialist for my hand in the afternoon. It's still painful but cant compare than my heart ache. After which i Mj at night. Still can think of you while playing. I dont what the fuck am i doing!
EMO EMO GO AWAY PLEASE..... I BEG YOU!!!!! :'(
&forever
6:24 AM
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Day18
Still emo-ing.
Day19
Went to weizhen hse warming. Like boring. Oops :X
Not recovering. I wondering , just a simple 3mths took me almost 3yrs to forget. So how long will i take this time ? Sometimes i just wanted to join you but im afraid. Afraid of you. Getting piss and angry of me. I dont want to be a annoying person. Sigh. What should i do meanwhile ?
&forever
6:44 AM
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Day16
Went out with omk to buy ps3. He kenna cheated. LOL. Than mj whole night till 5plus than went home.
Day17
Went out to shop but ended nothing i want. After that went to some lj pub. Didnt enjoy much, learn how to play direction. Was fucking emo yesterday, i miss her again and again. And for the first time i wait for bus for 3hours plus near 4hours? LOL. I really hope to see you, i really hope we can get back tgt. Although we are tgt only for a few months but i dont know why i fall so deeply inside. Seeing you so happy im glad for you. But i couldnt take it anymore, i am not myself anymore. I really tried very hard to forget you but nothing can you off my mind. I dont like clubbing and keep going just to hope that i enjoy myself and forget you. But i find out i didnt even forget abit of you. And just wasting my time and life there. I hate myself for doing this kind of stupid thing. While thinking at the bus stop i got the urge to hit something again and again but luckily i didnt, i remember the promise i made. I wont break it. i love you, bi..
&forever
1:09 AM
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Day15
Hmmm.. As usual, kenna "eat" by my fellow IC for two days. Fucking feel like slaping him. !@#$
I wonder is fate is playing me out. Im tired of this shit already, i want something that will be clear enough to show me my path. (:
&forever
7:58 PM
Monday, October 19, 2009
Day12
Went home ard 6am and wake up around 10am to swim. (: Shag but shiok ! lol.
Than we change and headed straight to town and do some shopping and brought a bum! :D
Got chance post some pic with that bum. Still missing you, my topic is still about you. Lastly,missing you. <3
Day13&14 ---> will be in camp doing duty! FUCK IT !!!!!!
&forever
10:53 AM
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Day 11
Sometimes i wonder how ppl forget the one u treasure so quickly, like a blink of eyes. They claim that they treasure each other alot but can forget so quickly. It's so scary, wonder what they say is it true. Everyday pasts like no other business but i cant forget anything and letting things go in my mind.
&forever
4:13 AM
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Day10
More and more disappointment. Everyday seems harder to past now.
&forever
12:29 AM
Friday, October 16, 2009
Day8
It's omk actual birthday! Wished him at around 1am plus. (:
Day9
Duty duty duty! Fuck it man. Damn fucking tiring. I want things back to normal !! sigh.
&forever
12:09 AM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Day 6 & 7
Went to shee sha with omk and nick they all. Had fun and went newton to have our supper. Purposely went out before camp to let me feel shag so wont think that much. Not bad effect! haha. Really shag ar. Plus two days straight duties can kill. Still will miss you, but still hoping you all the best! (:
Inside camp got some bastard kpkb about my injure hand and say me like i go geng one facture on my hand! CCB YOU ! Damn du lan but nothing can be done. Just hope he will get any injury or whatever illness. KNN!!!!
&forever
11:46 PM
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Day5
Party ytd at soho. Yet again, i didnt enjoy it. LOL. Went there alone ,and ty davis for sending me there. Im like a lonely bastard now man! Friends like to complaint about not asking them out but instead is we ask them out and they always give 101 reasons to say dont want. I hate it. Maybe is because i feeling very down this few days but i feel they is not there when i need them. I know that they have things to do and broke so they didnt wanted to come. But gng thru guestlist and buying few dollars drink isnt the ex too. We can even cab home tgt. I dont see why they dont want to go. Unless you tell me that rotting at home is more fun to see hot girls dancing and knowing more friends. I really feeling very fucked up. Trying to go out have fun but is not helping !! FUCK YOU DANIEL !
&forever
12:11 AM
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Day4
Ytd was quite a happening night, omk invited others people that we completely dunno and party with them. While im slacking talking inside the room with omk,nick and others. Listen to da alvin sister talk and gain quite a lot of life time experiences from her. I'm sad but what else can i do ? Move on is everyone telling me to do so. But is rather difficult. Nick, yuan lai wo men shi yi yang de! HI^5!!! LOL.. They party till like 5-6AM in the morning, while me and a few are playing MJ again ! :P
Anyway, sorry bro. Didnt enjoy your party as my mood is too down, yuan liang wo ok ? (:
&forever
2:03 AM
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Day3
Had a mj session at mk chalet ytd and my mind wasnt there at all. Bro, im sorry. I cant really help it. The most i can do is not to drink so much and just trying to entertain myself. And today it should be our 2nd anni. Cool man! WHOOOOO!!!! Had a long talk with her but nothing can be done anymore. I really love you. Remember how last time we call each other darling in the texas ? hahaha... I miss it. I miss you! sigh. How i wish i got a brain damage now or whatsoever and forget everything. Saying yourself not ready to committe is not the way. Committement ? I dont need every 24/7 reporting to me, i know u are afraid have no time for me. I know u think alot. But what you think why cant you discuss with me ? We can make arrangement. Yes, i behave like a little boy. But i got my serious mood too. The reason everyone dont want talk to me about serious thing is because i always smile when i talk. Even when is in army, my sgt fuck me because of that.
&forever
11:36 PM
Day 2
I hate myself acting like a strong guy and telling others that i dont care which i care so much and bother so much. Why am i becoming this way? Love do change people, but who can i really talk to? Close friends feel that im stupid having this kind of feeling, but how much they really know how much i love her? Now what i can do is only tearing and hug eeyore to sleep. Whenever i close my eyes all the memories is haunting me. I'm too afraid to sleep, i dont want to act infront of others but do i have a choice? Is hard to act strong and tearing inside me. Tried 2days, and im very sick of doing it. You know how much i wanted to do silly things to myself and yet i am afraid that my family members is more hurt in the end. Sigh. Why cant i make a decision that cant hurt anyone but myself? Is painful. Really painful. Why do people hide their emotion? Why people dont give others a chance to learn from mistake? Why do people make one mistake and that mistake will be repeated taken out to let people comment on ? Why ? Why?! People tell me that "daniel, slowly you will learn." But what will i learn ? Is it how to lie to myself ? How to cheat myself and say to myself that i dont like this girl or what? I can cheat others but not myself, i know how i feel. Please if you know anything tell me about it.
&forever
12:05 AM
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Day1
Cant sleep. I miss her , hugging a soft toy to sleep. Thinking of her whenever i close my eyes, but i cant do anything. I feel that im useless, in many ways. Does army change a guy or pain change a guy ? Army can only change a person for awhile and the person will become the same as the past. But pain it is hard to forget and is a scar for a person, it will always be there. What can i do to make myself happier but not acting? Hate it when i encounter problems i cant solve. Im in a lost. Some say happiness is to fight on our own. Yet another say giving up is also a kind of happiness. So which one should i fight for ? I dont want to be an idiot surfting net to solve my problem anymore. Can anyone teaches me what to do is the best? Dont ask me if she worth it. My answer to it is YES, SHE IS.
&forever
8:47 AM
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Well, the last time i blog about my emo bgr! haha! Hmmm.. The one i love doesnt seems to love me or i shall say like me anymore. Im sad, but from this relationship i learn alot. Loving someone doesnt mean haven to keep her by ur side. Letting this go is her decision and i agree to it. I learn to love myself and not hurting myself and ended up my siblings and parents is more heartache than that the person i did it for.( IT IS REALLY PAINFUL AND NOT WORTH IT SO GUYS DONT DO THIS KIND OF CHILDISH ACT! That what i learn also. ) Maybe she right, she need time for her work and friends. Yes, i admit that i dont really know what u want and do the caring at the right time. I am those idiot who does too much of concern and it will become irritating. But all this doesnt mean that i give up, cause i believe in "there a will, there a way." And yes, thx you for the memories you give me. Movies , dinner , talking cock , ( bb ) , and accompang me back camp and fetching me when i book out. All of them are sweet! You are the best gf i ever had. Ty......... Oh ya, i wishes you all the best for your work and ur longing dreams of studying physcologic. Take care of your poor health and drink lots of water! (:
&forever
10:52 PM
