Thursday, October 8, 2009
Day 2
I hate myself acting like a strong guy and telling others that i dont care which i care so much and bother so much. Why am i becoming this way? Love do change people, but who can i really talk to? Close friends feel that im stupid having this kind of feeling, but how much they really know how much i love her? Now what i can do is only tearing and hug eeyore to sleep. Whenever i close my eyes all the memories is haunting me. I'm too afraid to sleep, i dont want to act infront of others but do i have a choice? Is hard to act strong and tearing inside me. Tried 2days, and im very sick of doing it. You know how much i wanted to do silly things to myself and yet i am afraid that my family members is more hurt in the end. Sigh. Why cant i make a decision that cant hurt anyone but myself? Is painful. Really painful. Why do people hide their emotion? Why people dont give others a chance to learn from mistake? Why do people make one mistake and that mistake will be repeated taken out to let people comment on ? Why ? Why?! People tell me that "daniel, slowly you will learn." But what will i learn ? Is it how to lie to myself ? How to cheat myself and say to myself that i dont like this girl or what? I can cheat others but not myself, i know how i feel. Please if you know anything tell me about it.
&forever
12:05 AM
